found online LOLOLOLOLOL. this one is really funny!

[the_mean_admin]

It has bd language in it, but who cares? it's only a fan fic. ANd it's all tooo funny:!


From the tip of the highest tower to the lowest depths of the dungeons, Castle Dracula was resounding with the shrill screams of the count’s middle bride. He was seated stiffly in the chair behind his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to remain concentrated on his work. Aleera was not helping, whining to him about something unimportant. She hung over the back of his chair, irritatingly close to his face.
“Master,” she whined into his ear. He cringed.

“Yes?” Dracula heaved an exasperated sigh, rapidly losing what little patience he still had.

“This is BORING.” He rolled his eyes, refusing to reward her with an answer, and hunched over his desk, pretending to read over some papers. “When are you going to be done?” He continued to ignore her.

Aleera sat down on the edge of the desk and leaned back, sprawling herself out over his papers as provocatively as possible. He simply yanked them out from under her back, stacking them into a neat pile to his left. Refusing to be ignored, she rolled right into his lap, sliding her arms around his neck. He promptly shook her off and stood up, spilling Aleera onto the floor.

“Mas-ter,” she groaned, chasing him around the other side of the desk. “Why can’t you just work later?”

“I like to take advantage of the quiet moments around here.” He was rummaging through the papers in one of his drawers.

“This is quiet?” She asked, apparently surprised. Marishka’s shrieking continued to carry down the hall. Dracula had never been impressed with Aleera’s ear for sarcasm.

“My dear, persistent Aleera,” he said through gritted teeth, turning to face her, “Why don’t you go and see what is wrong with your sister?”

“I want to stay here with you,” she whined, following him across the room.

“Fine.” He sat back down at his desk. “Stay then. In the meantime, make yourself useful and straighten up the shelves over there.” Aleera’s nose wrinkled in distaste at the thought of cleaning.

“I’ll go check on Marishka.”

“I thought so.” He smirked, watching her finally leave the room.

The door to Marishka’s bedroom was flung open. Aleera stomped in to find Marishka squirming in the chair beside her vanity table. Verona was huddled over her, a stern expression on her face.

“Care to knock, Aleera?” Verona said numbly, without looking up at her.

“You’re pulling too HARD,” Marishka swatted Verona’s hand away from her head.

“If you would stop moving,” she said with a false patience, “I would not have to.” Aleera moved closer and noticed that a brush was suspended in Marishka’s tangled hair. She smirked.

“Bad hair day, darling?” She cackled, sitting back on the bed to watch, looking highly amused.

“You shut up!” Yelled Marishka. “You’re not helping, so just go back to wherever you came from!”

“Hell?” Verona muttered under her breath.

“Verona, you’re going to rip my scalp off!”

“I have to pull,” she growled, “whether you like it or not.” Verona began to pull tiny strands of hair out of the brush one by one. Marishka whimpered, clamping her eyes shut as if she could see what was happening behind her in the first place.

“You are such a BABY,” hissed Aleera. She got up and shoved her eldest sister aside, grabbing hold of the brush.

“Be gentle, Aleera!” Marishka cried nervously. “I’m tender headed.”

“Poor thing,” Aleera said venomously. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll be gentle.” With that, she yanked the brush away from her head, along with a sizable amount of golden hair. “Sorry, honey. Slipped. Here,” she handed the brush to a screeching Marishka, who took it and hurled it at her giggling sister’s head.

“Damn you, Aleera! Look how much you pulled out!” She jabbed a finger at the brush. Verona closed her eyes, rubbing her temples. Here we go, she thought.

“So what are you worried about? I got the brush out, didn’t I? Besides, you could be bald and it wouldn’t make you any uglier.”

“Oh yeah? Master tells me I’m prettier than you both are! What do you have to say to that!”

“I say he tells me you’re the ugly one.”

“Well that’s not what he said last night.” Aleera’s jaw dropped.

“But he wouldn’t with- he told me he was working last night!” Marishka now had a very smug grin on her face.

“Haha. Stupid whore.”

“Marishka, what’s that in your hair?” Marishka spun around frantically, trying to see her own head.

“Where!”

“Here.” Aleera grabbed a bottle of lotion off of Marishka’s vanity table, unscrewed the cap, and turned it upside down, pouring the creamy liquid over the top of her head. Marishka screamed and leapt onto her, seizing her throat and slamming her head into the floor.

“Sisters, please,” Verona said irritably, reaching down to separate them. In turn, she was pulled down into the fight. Marishka and Aleera attacked her simultaneously, Aleera grabbing her hair and Marishka grabbing her necklace. They ripped at both. Beads went rolling around the floor amidst the broken jewelry. They stopped suddenly. “The Master gave that to me!”

“The master gave you this too.” Aleera ripped off the sleeve of her dress. “Oops.” Marishka laughed. Verona sat up straight, trying to keep herself calm. She would not sink down to their level...she would not...she sighed.

“Alright, bitches.” She threw herself onto Aleera, tackling her to the ground and ripping her sleeve as well. Aleera reached up and grabbed her sister’s earring. “Aleera, DON’T YOU DARE-” Marishka then grabbed Aleera’s earring and forced her to stand up, pulling Verona with her.

“AH! VERONA, DON’T!” Marishka’s own earring was now being pulled at. They slowly rose up to stand in a whimpering circle, at each others mercy.

“Ha!” Aleera narrowed her eyes at her. “Come on, Verona, yank it! She deserves it! She thinks she’s prettier than us, and she calls ME stup-OW!” Marishka warned her, tugging at her earring.

“If I go down you come with me, bitch! And for the record, I am prettier than you. Just accept it. Master says I’m the pretty one.” Aleera’s eyes flickered dangerously.

“Master says I’m the pretty one, and that I’m his favorite.”

“But he told me I was his favorite!” Marishka cried in disbelief. They both glanced over at Verona, who looked sheepishly down at the floor.

“That bastard...” grumbled Aleera.

“Exactly,” sighed Verona. “So what are we fighting with each other about? If we’re going to be pulling someone’s earring, it might as well be our Master’s.” Her younger sister’s faces lit up at the idea. “Now this is ridiculous. On three we let go, agreed?”

“Agreed,” said Marishka and Aleera in unison.

“Good,” said Verona. “One...two...”

“OW!” The three of them screamed, each of them yanking down with all their strength. They broke the circle, holding their bleeding ears. Marishka was crying.

Dracula stood in the doorway, looking quite confused...and somewhat amused. Aleera noticed him first, naturally.

“Master!” She cried, sending him an injured look. “Marishka says that you said she’s your favorite!”

“Aleera says that you told her she’s your favorite!” Marishka piped up, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

Verona said nothing, staring him down. Her eyes were burning a hole through him.

“Well, uh..” he stammered, trying to find an escape. “I say that because...you are all my favorites!” Cries of protest filled the room. “Alright, alright, ALRIGHT!” He shouted, silencing them. “But it is true, my darlings! I have..um..different..favorite things about you!” They were backing him up into wall. “Verona, for her brilliant mind of course,” he smiled at her, but she continued to glare at him. “Marishka, for her uh..liveliness. And Aleera, for her...her um...” his eyes settled on where her dress was dangling off of her shoulder, and moved downward. “Her..ah...” Dracula decided that the sentence was best left unfinished. He looked up to find all three brides glaring dangerously at him.

“Marishka. Hold him down. I’ll go for the earring.”

“With pleasure, sister.”

“I’ll take off his pants!” Aleera said excitedly.

“Right. On three,” said Verona. Dracula backed away from them.

“Ladies, please, let’s be rational-”

“Fine,” said Marishka. “Then who is your favorite?” Each of them stared expectantly. Dracula looked around the room nervously, holding protectively onto his earring.

“...Why don’t we flip a coin?”

“GET HIM!”

[BTVS01]

THAT WAS WIERD . THE PANTS THING WAS WIERD . THE BRIDED FIGHT SCENE WAS HILARIOUS

[the_mean_admin]

The brides fighting was really funny! I was hysterically laughing

[BTVS01]

JARED DOSENT THINK IT IS FUNNY

[the_mean_admin]

He's an idiot.

[BTVS01]

YOU AINT KIDDIN

[the_mean_admin]

How does he not think it's funny?

[BTVS01]

DONT KNOW???????

[the_mean_admin]

What is he, the non humurous person in your family

[BTVS01]

NO HE JUST DOSENT THINK ITS FUNNY

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